there's something about fritzi *winkz*

it's 2.48am now. and i feel like writing down my thoughts and my feelings. what a time to feel like writing. pretty crazy. i wanted to sleep coz i'd be leaving for kl again in the morning but somehow that tugging feeling kept prompting me to put those stuff in my head down somewhere. easier typed than written. oh, what the heck!

have you ever watched a hedgehog fall asleep? even better than that, have you ever watched a hedgehog fall asleep right beside you, tugged in the side of your body? if you've seen it, you'd prolly think it was really adorable! i brought fritzi home with me to ipoh this holidays. i was playing with him as i would normally do once in a while. everything was just like normal. i may not be the best pet owner in the world, i may not have pampered him well enough. i may not have bonded really well with him, but today...today was different!

i was lazy to watch him as he ran around the house today so i decided to pick him along to the tv room as i lie there watching my show. no doubt, that guy tried to sniff his way around, walked on my belly, the cushion and everywhere else (within the reach of my hands of course!). until one point he got a lil tired (and i got a lil tired myself.. :p). he snuggled himself next to my waist with a lil bit of my shirt covering him. at times, he raised up his quils but as i was stroking him to sleep, his quils began to loosen down and he seemed pretty relaxed. as i peered down a lil, i saw that he was falling asleep! and then sometimes he would peer up a lil to sniff and see if it's still safe. and i would keep stroking it so that he would feel some sense of security there.

he looked so peaceful. he didn't have to care about a single thing in the world (besides having ppl invade his private lil space)! the experience today gave me a different kind of nice feeling. it was like a special connection sparked between fritzi and myself! it was a nice feeling of knowing your lil pet feels safe in your arms! it was like as though he knew who i was! the only thing i could feel from him was the heat from his body and his tiny lil heartbeats. it almost brought tears to my eyes...

many people kept asking me, "why a hedgehog? it's so prickly and it's not nice to cuddle or play with!" i never really knew the answer. i would alwiz tell them that i thought they were cute! but today, i realized one thing about having lil fritzi around...some people would never understand this feeling because they've never tried bonding with fritzi before. some people wouldn't even dare touch it. some even mock it and say it's ugly and horrible. it's the kind of joy where he knows who his friends are and can put his trust in them! it's a kind of contentment knowing that he doesn't raise his quils as high and hard as he used to! sometimes even looking at him run around looking so silly makes me laugh! and sometimes just seeing the way he sleeps so peacefully makes my heart calm. it's like as though he knows the meaning of his name and is living up to his name!! hahaha! (fritzi = peace, joy)

well...in more technical terms, what i'm trying to say is this... let's compare having a hedgehog as a pet and having those cuddly lil animals...say...hamsters (*note: hamsters were chosen with no sense of biasness but because of the fact that i have space limitations in where i live). if u would to have a hamster, u will not be able to see if the hamster knows who u are because a hamster will always figget and run around when you pick it up to your palm. u may be able to keep it for a good few years but at the end of its life, u still wouldn't know if the hamster actually liked u, or was comfortable with u or was just using u to stay alive! but a hedgehog is different! when you're first acquainted with it, it may seem pretty cold to you, and it may raise up its quils high and hard and give you angry hisses too! but slowly, once you become friends with it, it knows who you are and slowly it will lower its quils and begin to relax and trust you. it can even stay pretty quiet for the next couple of hours lying next to you! it will definately give you a kind of satisfaction that your pet knows you. i can tell you these from experience through the degree of hardness and highness of the raising of its quils (in other words...i just know la! :p)

i was reflecting on that connection fritzi and i had. it was like a relationship between me and Daddy. everytime when He catches hold of me, i try to run around, trying to find a place to escape or even trying to explore different things on my own. but Daddy has alwiz been watching me, catching me back, pulling me back whenever i fall, whenever i hit a dead end. and then He places me right next to Him again..near His heart, listening to His heartbeat. He patiently waits for me to get tired and stop so that i can rest under His wings. and when i finally do, it's really worth it! it is just like how the psalmist puts it in psalm 91:4 "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." now, i think i know how Daddy feels taking care of silly me. hehe. sometimes i really need to take a break and just place my trust in Him. sometimes i really need to take a break and just listen to His heartbeat. sometimes i really need to take a break to just hide under His wings. mayb i should stop escaping eh?


-bea-